When DEATH embraced me!!!

As i sit here in a corner, i dont know why?, but there are people around me, yet m so ALONE!! I am not a loner, I never was !! i dont wanna be like this but i really dont have an option. Its as if i was thrown into the deep seas and left hapless. I really couldnt do much, Someone somewhere kept pulling me inside, i kept gaspin for air, tried everything i knew or possibly wat ever i could do. the best part is i didnt even know how to swim, but now when i do, it really doesnt matter. I have accepted that no one will save me, now. I have been stuck for too long now. I still wonder why somethings happen? I still feel like m in a maze. All i see around me are doors, some same, some different. I ran around from door to door, I just had to save my world, the world which means everything to me, the world i dreamt off, the world which still is my driving force, the world which 'WE' wanted to have. m a lil tired now. I kept banging my head till bled. initially, it hurt alot but now, i dont feel anything now, for i am numb now, Its swollen, my face hurts. but I just cant give up, with every hit the determination keeps getting stronger. I dreamt of something 'WE' wanted, and i will keep fighting till i live no more, till death embraces me.
But, I am human, I do have my doubts, I wonder if its all an illusion or rather a mirage which drives you towards good things, only to disappoint you as you move closer to it. In the end you're the one left dejected. sometimes it feel like that the world i talk bout jus never existed.
I have been falling for quite sometime now, it seems like I was pushed into a well some months back and have been in air since then, I know my end is coming near, m jus waiting for it now, I jus wanna see if m tougher than the ground beneath. cant wait for the moment when i'll hit the floor, my skull would crack, my body would maul beyond recognition, blood would be spurting all around,drenched in my own blood, jolts which would shake me up completely but only from outside. and I'd lie on the ground gasping for air till i can breathe no more, till i live no more, till death embraces me!!